B-Girl and B-Boy Do It Again

Hey, guys!  Well, it's that time of year again - my BIRTHDAY!  Yes, time does certainly zoom by and this year was a small, but significant, celebration that involved a dash of shopping and a huge dollop of food (courtesy of B-Boy, of course!).  But instead of laboring through all the particulars of the former, I'll just focus in on the latter.  So I've put together an abridged synopsis of the day's culinary events if you're at all curious.  And judging from the fact that you're still reading this, I'd venture to say that you are...

The day started out early with a hearty breakfast at a well known local eatery (Roscoe's, anyone?) where I ordered my usual when in attendance: a leg, wing and two waffles.  B-Boy ordered something similar that I now cannot totally recall, but it did include a waffle as well.  My chicken was piping hot and surprisingly well seasoned.  I say surprisingly because I don't really consider their fried chicken to be all that great, but just OK.  My waffle, on the other hand, was the polar opposite as  it had arrived the luke-est of warms, hovering just a hint above butter melting status.  I didn't complain, though.  I muscled through it.  However, when I asked B-Boy about his dish, he replied with the same disappointment.  Even the extra waffle he ordered after finishing the first round of waffles arrived at a bland temperature.  I'm beginning to think that perhaps it may be this particular location's (they have several) issue with quality control as this is the second time he and I have had this problem with our food.  At least I HOPE it's an isolated issue.  Either way, we weren't going to let this influence the day and so we pressed on...

We zigzagged through the city and hit up a couple of retail spots to, you know, treat moi to some treats.  Some colorful thangs and some cute thangs...  You know - birthday treats.  Gifts.  Thoughtful gestures.  Anywho, as dusk settled onto the horizon, he surprised me and pulled up to the Sky Zone Indoor Trampoline Park.  I had never been, but the initiated already know that I'm totally down for new adventures as this particular venue has large trampolines on which you can play games like dodgeball or shoot hoops OR simply bounce around until you run out of steam.  Sounds cool to me, so we went in... and when I tell you it was a madhouse in there, please believe it.

Kids running, screaming, falling, crying...  Little kids, big kids, medium kids...  It was ten times worse than Chuck E. Cheese!  (Yes, THAT bad!)  After inquiring at the front desk, we were told that general admission (the kids) would be ending soon and then it would be "adults only", complete with DJ and strobe lights.  Sounded cool.  Waiting around 45 minutes wouldn't be too bad, right?  Well, we sat around on their hard red bleachers for about a full five minutes before hunger compelled us to give up the fight and find sustenance instead.  So we made our way outta there and shimmied over to my fave spot... my birthday staple...

I remain unapologetic in my overt affection for The Cheesecake Factory as I always enjoy the food there and absolutely L-O-V-E cheesecake!  I mean, this noshery never disappoints, which is why it remains my "born day" staple.  Now, we had made plans earlier to go to a different restaurant, but we were so far out because of Sky Zone that it just made sense to go to CCF since it happened to be in the vicinity (#YAY!  #WINNING!).  And so we ate.  First on the menu for me was a tropical smoothie made with mango, raspberry puree and coconut milk.  #YUM

Now, we did order an appetizer - fried calamari - but it had no chance of getting its picture taken as I immediately tore into it as soon as it made port at our table.  And when the main dish finally came out - a robust serving of truffle honey fried chicken over mashed potatoes and asparagus - I mean, I completely lost myself and almost forgot to document the tasty victuals before quickly disappearing from my plate.  But somehow I managed to put my fork down, if not for a brief moment, to do my due diligence.

And since it was my birthday (as well as just about every other patron's in attendance that night), they brought out a complimentary mini-sundae, complete with birthday candle, and - YES - sang their version of "Happy Birthday" to me.

But who the heck goes to CCF for a sundae?!  I certainly do NOT!  And so my night of eats did not - COULD NOT - end there and I took home a slice of their celebration cheesecake.  A layered decadence of vanilla confetti cake, strawberry/chocolate/vanilla mousses, cheesecake and cheesecake icing, it's quite a collection of confection.  One that I had never tried before.  But I'm so glad I did because it is sooooo good!  #DOUBLEYUM!

And just look at who was able to tag along for the festivities as well!  B-Boy brought my two babies to celebrate with me!  He's been taking care of them while I've been in "hustle mode" and seeing them in person made my heart sing.  #JOY

Yep, so my birthday this year was pretty cool.  But it usually is.  I made a bunch of plans prior to the day to go here and do this and there and do that, but ended up doing something more casual and laid back.  And you know what?  It was good.  Seeing my babies?  Good!  Spending time laughing and yucking it up with B-Boy?  GOOD!  Eating good food and good dessert the entire weekend?  GOOD-GOOD!

No matter what, I always ring in my birthday like it's a major holiday, even if it's just me flying solo.  Life is way too short and every year/day/hour above ground is an absolute blessing.  No day is promised, which is why I like to make an extra effort on my day.  And besides - birthdays are fun.  At least mine are.

So with an emphatic shout, I'd like to send a resounding Happy Birthday to me!  Yepper!  And may I have many, MANY more...

Serious Playtime

Hey, guys!  O-M-G... I have been so busy, y'all, it's not even funny.  It's been a full court press, head wrecking game of grown woman chess - not checkers - over here and I desperately needed a break.  And guess who aptly deciphered what must have been thick S.O.S. smoke signals emanating from the overworked gears in my head?  You guessed it: Birthday Boy (aka B-Boy; aka my Ace Boon Cum Laude!)   So we hit the streets... and milked my reprieve, albeit a small one, for all that it was worth!

OK, so it's official - we canNOT resist going to Target at some point during our outings.  I honestly think he's more addicted to the retail giant than I am, but I am more than happy to be his co-conspirator.  Is it the sales?  The red stickers indicating the sales?  The long aisles of stuff on sale?  I dunno.  But we enjoy it.  And while perusing said aisles I happened along some interesting finds...

Now you all know that I'm not a huge fan of e.l.f., but this Runway Ready Lip Palette does look good!  It really does.  I didn't buy it... but it did look good.

Have you guys seen this already?  Sonia Kashuk's tribal motif brush set must have been out for awhile (or not sold as well as expected) because it is currently on clearance...

... along with its matching brush holder.  I wasn't too impressed by the combo - looked a little cheap to me - so I kept it moving.

Oh, my goodness.  When I saw this, I immediately cracked up.  A dog shirt/costume that says "Rufferee"?  Too cute.  I'm not into dressing up my furbabies for Halloween, but this was so cute that I had to take a picture of it and share!

And then we got serious.  B-Boy and I moseyed into a couple of furniture stores and got swept away by the innovative displays as well as the plush textures and tones that filled the showrooms. 

I absolutely LOVE this bedding ensemble!  From the headboard to the comforter to the fur throw to the mirrored tray... my eyes filled with big red hearts as I let my mind fill to the brim with wild thoughts of taking the entire display home with me fully intact.

I do love color, but I kept finding myself being drawn in by the chic simplicity of the vast gray and silver tones that were in abundance in the store.

And so it has begun.  And it seems to begin earlier and earlier every year.  It's only October, we haven't even had a whiff of the traditional Thanksgiving turkey and stores already have their Christmas wares setup for pre-holiday consumption.  Wow...

Twinsies!!  Shhh... don't tell him I said that.  But we were wearing the same style of sneakers - white leather Converses - and I just couldn't resist.  If he knew, he would roll his eyes.  But that's OK.  What he doesn't know won't hurt him... or irritate him, for that matter!  #WINNING! #TWINNING!

So there you have it!  And now I'm back to the grind, but I'm so happy for the break from all the hectic-ness.  I know that's not a word, but it's OK.  We're all friends here and you guys get the gist of what I'm saying.  I needed a day of play... and was quite elated that it came with a less than reluctant playdate!  #YAYME

Rebels With A Cause

Hey, guys!  Well, no sense in me beating around the mulberry bush and/or trying to play coy, so I'll just jump right into it with both feet: this past week was a very good week for me.  Besides getting a lot done as far as furthering some personal plans, B-Boy (aka Birthday Boy) and I took a much needed timeout to indulge in a week-long helping of sporadic shenanigans.  Oh, you know how we do; it was a total mash up of food, frivolity and fun that ran well into the week's end.  Yes, we were a couple of rebels with a cause... and here's just a small sampling of some of the "trouble" we were able to get into.

Now, I hardly ever order takeout or go out to eat during most weeks, opting for a casual chow down at home instead.  However, all that usually goes out the window when B-Boy is involved and last week was certainly no exception.  Before hooking up with my "partner in crime", I treated myself to a guilty pleasure that had been invading my daydreams for some time now: orange chicken with a side of fried rice.  Generally speaking, Chinese food is not my customary go-to, but when it comes to this particular dish, I easily (and eagerly) fall victim to its savory siren song every time.

In addition to going to the movies to see the latest Bond flick Spectre, we also tooled around a few shops, including one of my favorite stomping grounds - Sephora.  B-Boy patiently lingered outside its doors while I ogled some of their shoppers' rewards.

You guys know how infatuated I am with collecting miniature versions of perfumes, so this reward I found especially interesting.  However, despite having plenty of points to cover the tab, I didn't bite.  I decided to hold out for something better and wait.  I don't know what I'm waiting for, but I'm waiting nonetheless.  Oh, and speaking of biting... 

I almost missed out on taking this picture as I was elbow-deep in my mission of shoveling this huge portion of fried calamari down my impatient throat.  OH. EM. GEE.  This calamari was so G.O.O.D!  I am so serious, y'all.  I love seafood and this delectable delight rides high on my list of all time faves.

Now, the calamari was just the appetizer... the prelude to the main course, you see.  And what a course it was!  To those familiar with my previous exploits, it's nothing new: fried catfish with mashed red potatoes and corn.  In lieu of broccoli as the green veggie, this time it was accompanied by string beans.  I'm not a fan of string beans at all, but its appearance on my plate did little to hamper my overall eating experience.  #YUM!

And while I'm stuffing my face with both hands, guess who ordered the lighter, greener fare?  Yes, it was a total gender role reversal that night!  Just to be clear, I am not an "Oh, I'll just have a salad" type of girl.  When I go out to eat, I EAT!  So while I'm in full-on Hungry Jack mode, it was B-Boy who played the "demure damsel" and noshed only on lettuce and cucumbers... and tomatoes... and some other healthy stuff.  Yeah.  I was a little surprised, but hey, that's what he wanted.  #BOOORING!  #Zzzzz!

And you know I had to top the night off with some sugar, honey!  Since my favorite pineapple upside down version wasn't available, I put an exclamation mark on the night's feast with a hunk of vanilla bean cheesecake, complete with a seismic dollop-ing of whipped cream.  Oh, my!  It was heaven on a plate.  I mean, I actually heard white robed angels singing gospels of praise while I slowly savored each bite in my mouth.  (OK, I didn't actually hear angels singing, but you get my drift.)  It was de-LISH!

So there you have it!  I had an awesome week, which was spent with awesome company eating super-dee-duper awesome food!  I mean, what more could you ask for?  Bonnie and Clyde were back at it again; two rebels on a mission to indulge in some gastro-centric mischief (as well as other delights).  And based on the evidence gathered, I think it's pretty safe to label this latest venture as #MISSIONACCOMPLISHED!

An Evening Quickie

It's not even the end of the week (not even close!) and I'm already up to some tomfoolery thanks to my part-time partner in crime, Birthday Boy.  But this one's a quickie.  Yep.  Without warning or any type of notice, he came by, scooped me and whisked me off to the movies.  Oh, but let me not get so ahead of myself.  When B-Boy came, he didn't come empty-handed.  He came bearing gifts... Caribbean gifts... gifts of the edible persuasion.  Scantily clad in the thin, white, plastic takeout bags he had swinging from each of his hands were filled-to-the-brim, styrofoam boxes of Jamaican goodness!  And you already know that I was more than happy to take part in the spicy spoils! 

He handed me a box and when I opened it, my jaw nearly hit the floor as the culinary vision of rice and beans, cabbage, and oxtails danced before my eyes.  He knows me oh, but too well to have ordered this for me on his own.  And so I indulged, delighting all five of my senses in the process.  I savored every morsel, every bite.  And it was so good, y'all.  Mmm!  And do you see the lavish portion of my platter?  The box was barely able to contain it all; it was overflowing!  It was so much that, alas, poor Dolce could not finish it all.  But don't cry me a river yet 'cause I, of course, saved the surplus so I could revisit it the next day and pleasure my palate all over again.     

OK, do you see this?  This is a boxful of Jamaican patties, both chicken and beef.  OH-MA-HEAVENS!  What can I say, guys?  Yeah, mon!  (sorry, guys!  It just slipped out...)  Anywho, if you've never had an authentic Jamaican patty and love spicy food then you should definitely treat yourself to one.  They are awesome!  It's what we Americans would consider a meat turnover... only BETTER.  So, yes, you are certainly missing out if you've never tasted one.  It should go on your bucket list under "Foods To Try Before I Die".  Yep.  I said it.  They're that good.

For his main meal, B-Boy had the jerk chicken served with the same sides I had.  He caught me eyeing his plate so he shared a bit of it with me... and when I tell you that the chicken was so off tha chain that it made you wanna slap somebody's mama and scream bloody murder in patois, please believe it!  It was so smoky and spicy that my woefully under-sophisticated tongue thought it was ribs.  That's what it tasted like to me; it didn't taste at all like chicken, but some of the best tasting, spiced down ribs you ever had in your life -  #YUM!  Oh, and he also brought two huge mounds of coco bread, which is a slightly sweetened bread made with coconut milk, but we tore that up on sight so, unfortunately, I wasn't quite able to visually capture its golden goodness quick enough.  Umm... yeah.  #MYBAD

(A Christmas-themed advert shown before the film)

Anywho, after filling our bellies, we shuffled over to the local theater and saw Chris Rock's current feature Top Five.  In my opinion, it was just OK.  I saw what Chris was trying to do with the film, but it meandered too much, jetted awkwardly back and forth between tones (serious-comedic) and just wasn't as funny as I had hoped it would be.

But still, a good time was had by all.  Or by the both of us, I should say.  Yep, the Awesome Twosome of B-Boy and Dolce has struck again.  Late night shenanigans are our specialty!  We laugh in the face of weekday curfews!  (HA!)  Where will our next adventure lead us?  Who knows?  But one thing is for sure: whether it's a weekend excursion or a weekday quickie, we're always down for whatever.  I'm the Darla to his Alfalfa -  just a couple of crazy kids trying to live life to the fullest... one adventure at a time.

Date Night

OK, so I went out on a date this past weekend.  And it wasn't with Birthday Boy.  Nope.  It was with someone that I met through my family, so he seemed like a safe bet.  And, as it turns out, he was.  We went the traditional "dinner and a movie" route, which suited me just fine.  Clean cut and strait-laced, he was the knowledgeable guide to my semi-hapless tourist; both of us playing our roles with earnest conviction until the final curtain call when we bid each other adieu later that evening...

The night started out with a trip to one of my favorite restaurants.  Yes, that place.  Let's say it together, shall we: The Cheesecake Factory.  Yessss!  And what I ordered was my usual (I know, no surprise there, either): the Steak Diane and Salmon combo.  Yeah, no big whoop so I'll spare you the visuals of the meal since you've seen it before.  But what was unique about this dining experience was the row of lit palm trees and mini "waterfalls" that surrounded the mall where TCF was located -  an absolutely beautiful sight to behold... and definitely pic-worthy.

Next, we went to go see the X-Men movie at the Universal Studios movie theater.  If you've never been to this one (Orlando, FL) or the one in Los Angeles, CA, Universal Studios is a sprawling, movie-themed resort that offers everything from roller coasters to restaurants for the wide-eyed tourist to indulge in.  Yep, it's a pretty cool place to visit.

Now, such a vast entertainment complex requires a bit of foot power to get around and I'm so glad that I dress for the occasion, opting to wear my über-comfortable, pewter sandals with a pair of jeans.  Umm... and do you see the toes?  I told y'all Eclectic was going to get a workout this summer.  And this is just the beginning.  You just wait!

Inside the theater are huge, black and white banners showcasing a variety of movie stars, both past and present.  One of my faves was this one of Robert Redford.

And after having watched a sci-fi flick about mutants, we were met with the perfect footnote to the night as we observed a menacing, 1950s-style, space robot wreak havoc on a miniature golf course below during our exit.  A fitting nightcap, indeed.

So, I had a really good time on my date.  There was some laughter and good conversation, and the guy was nice, too.  Now, will we be going out again?  Hmm... I don't know.  I mean, I'm not against it or anything.  I guess we'll see.

And if I do end up going out with him again, you know I'm going to assign him a nickname, too.  You know, something fitting... something appropriate.  But we'll see if he even makes it that far.  Yep.  We shall see.

Calm Before the Storm

Well, well, well, whaddaya know...  Guess who came blowin' into my part of town this weekend, guys?  Yep, Birthday Boy.  Dressed in track suit pants and a non-matching track suit jacket, he was giving off serious "carefree casual" vibes as he blew into town with a heavy agenda.  He had a lot to do, but still offered to hang out for a few and help me with a quick grocery run - of which I was much obliged.  And so after a few giggles and pleasantries, we hit the road for the market.

The weather was absolutely BEAUTIFUL and my local grocery wasted no time in taking full advantage of it.  Outside, they were selling pots of various types of flowering trees, including fruit trees!  I don't know why the sight of these made me so happy, but they did. 

And if the tree display wasn't enough to tempt your green thumb, they also had a wide variety of vegetables, including kale and red lettuce, available for those looking to start a vegetable garden.  If only I had the space, I would LOVE to start a veggie garden and grow my own herbs and produce!  I just think that would be so cool.  One day, guys... one day I'm gonna do just that.  You just wait and see.

So, after finally contending with all the distractions outside the store, we made our way inside for what was a pretty quick venture by grocery store standards.  I knew exactly what I wanted and didn't want to be disrespectful of his time by dilly-dallying through the aisles.  Mission was accomplished in a few snaps and we were back at my abode before two shakes of a lamb's tail.

After unloading the packages, I placed this box of sinful delights on the kitchen counter and just stared at them.  Not sure if you guys are familiar with Entenmann's pastries, but when I tell you that they are the bomb, please believe me.  And this particular box of crumbs donuts (glazed donuts topped with streusel crumbs and powdered sugar) is one of my faves!  I haven't had them in awhile so it was only fair for me to cop them this weekend.  You know, in celebration of the weather.  Umm, yeah... the weather.

Anywho, dinner that night was light and pretty basic.  After I said my thank yous and we said our good-byes, I settled in with a bowl of ramen.  I like to dress my noodles up a bit from time to time, so I threw in a tossing of fresh spinach for added color and taste.

And to top the night off I ate my own custom version of cookies 'n' cream: two double stuff Oreos crunched up in a small mountain of vanilla bean ice-cream.  When I say that I have this particular dessert just about every night without fail, I am not exaggerating.  It's my simple indulgence; it's my sugar tonic as I instantly feel better once I eat it.  Sounds a little dramatic, I know.  But it's true.  I love this stuff!

So, that was pretty much what I got into this weekend.  Nothing special or busy, but I know that this is just the calm before the storm.  I have some changes coming up within the next month or so and finding a reprieve whenever I can is absolutely essential right now.  I've been praying a lot and it looks like some things are coming to fruition... and with that, things are going to get a bit more hectic for a moment.  But I'm ready.  And I'll be sure to fill you in on all the pertinents when the time comes.

But until then, I hope you had a wonderful weekend and I look forward to our chit-chatting later on this week! 
 

Celibate And the City

Okay, I had to address this because of something I just watched on YT (YouTube).  I watched a video thinking that the vlogger would have a definitive point of view on this, but he did not and his answer was just ridiculous to me, but sadly very common.

A woman emailed him asking when was a good time to tell someone you're dating or about to date that you are celibate and whether he would ever date a woman who was celibate.  He proceeded to answer the first part of the question by saying that there would be nothing wrong with telling a man when you first talk or meet up with him and that it would be better to get this out of the way as soon as possible.  He then used an example of if a woman had a rule of not kissing on the first date, he would hope she would tell him before they sit down at a restaurant and she orders a lobster dinner.  Huh?!  His explanation was that if he were doing everything right on the date and treated her right and all that jazz that he would hope she would rethink her "no kissing" rule and would find him desirable enough to break it.  As if to say he put in the work so why not reap the reward?  My words, not his.  Anywho, he then answered the second part of the question, saying that he would date a woman who was celibate and that he would respect her for that.  But thennnn, he quickly contradicted himself by saying that her self-imposed celibacy was probably because she was single and was tired of casual sex and since they would now be dating then she should want to, again, rethink that rule because it would no longer apply since dating someone exclusively does not equate to casual sex.  Oh!  Oh!  Hold on... and then the kicker was that he reiterated that he would date her but with the hopes that she would come around and basically "hit him off" (my words).   Huh?!  Excuse me?!

First of all, how are you going to assume that she is celibate because she no longer wants to be promiscuous?  That's what the whole "casual sex" comment implies to me.  Maybe she's celibate because she was hurt in her last relationship and decided that she slept with him too soon?  Maybe she knows herself so well that a sexual relationship outside of marriage would leave her too vulnerable emotionally and cause more hurt if the relationship didn't work out?  Or maybe she finally gave her life to Christ, got saved and decided to do it God's way and save it for her husband, someone who at least put up some money on a ring and promised before God and fam to be there and cherish her forever?  Heck, maybe her va-jay-jay is broke and needs time to heal?  Who knows?  My point is that if she thought it was important enough to at least tell you on the front end so you would know what to expect (or not expect) then dating her with the expectations of her soon changing her mind is NOT respecting her decision at all.  You are totally minimizing it as a minor speed bump, a challenge for you to take on.  In fact, he did use that word "challenge".  And who knowingly accepts a challenge thinking you're going to lose?

And he didn't even answer the question!  He was basically saying "yes, but not really".  Huh?!  Pick an answer, man!  Here, let me answer the question for you: no, you would not knowingly date a woman with the hopes of having a RELATIONSHIP with her if she were celibate.  And that's fine!  That's your prerogative.  But be clear, man!  Don't try and hide behind niceties and feigned chivalry when at the end of the day you want what just about every red-blooded man with a set of franks and beans wants - SEX!  If she's being honest with you then you should be a real man and be honest with her and tell her that your timeline is different than hers.  Waiting with the expectation of an end is simply tolerating and what grown person wants to be tolerated?  Heck, she didn't even offer waiting as an option, she is saying straight up, "NO, I'M NOT HAVING SEX WITH YOU OR ANY OTHER DING-A-LING RIGHT NOW.  THANK YOU!"

Oh, my God!  I'm sorry, but this got my panties in a bunch for real!  What is wrong with people?  I mean, I know women can get gully with theirs and there are a lot of women who are very sexual, but I have to speak on men right now because they're the ones I date and I have yet to come across a man who has declared that he's saving himself for marriage.  Never.  I know they may exist, but I've NEVER encountered one.  So with that being said, why can't men respect the C-word?  Is it that they take it personally and translate it to the woman saying he's not worthy enough to enter and so he must "accept the challenge" and prove her wrong, that he's worthy enough to claim the prize?  With an attitude like that, he's already proven he's not worthy.  Man, please!  Have a seat!

In fact, let me go cool off and have a seat myself.  The very nerve... 

Forgive... Forgive-Me-Not?

What would it take for you to forgive?  And if you finally got yourself to the point where you could forgive, would you also be able to forget or is that even necessary for forgiveness?  And would it depend on what the offense was whether you would even consider forgiving the perpetrator at all?

Ok, what if the offense caught you off guard and when you found out you were absolutely devastated?  No, no one died or was maimed, but you were hurt to your very core because it was someone you loved and trusted.  Would an apology be enough?  Would money and/or gifts be an ample salve?  OR are you one of those types where the only relief you could find would be to get the person back (avenge your broken heart) via the same manner - if not a more hurtful manner - that was used to hurt you...?

Hmm... just wondering aloud.  I guess I should reveal which of these examples fit my personality, but I'm still trying to figure that out.  My knee-jerk response would be that I would be able to forgive, forget, but depending on how egregious the act was/is, I would know that for my own sanity our relationship... our interaction from that point on would never be the same.

I mean, everyone makes mistakes, but at what point is enough enough?!

Ok, talk amongst yourselves.  I'll be back with my final thoughts once I've gathered them.

Rules of Engagement

Where should I begin?  Hmm...  Well, I keep looking down at my hand and wondering how it all happened really.  And it's taken me a full week to fully absorb it all and now I think I'm ready to spill the beans.  It's funny how all this happened after my last entry where I stated that I was no longer going to chase "butterflies".

Yeah, well, remember when I told you about the boyfriend - I mean, ex-BF?  How he cheated and we finally broke up?  Well, we broke and I left for Philly.  And he lost his mind...  No, I mean it.  He literally called me every day when I left.  OK, cool.  Expected that (kinda).  No biggie.  But then came the crying and the pleading.  And then the visit.  Yes, he visited me and took me out and bought me things... He promised change in his attitude, demeanor and his over all self and the way he interacted with me.  I shrugged it off, but - crazy enough - he started to deliver.  He started going to church religiously and sent me a barrage of love notes via emails and phone calls. 

And when I arrived in Atlanta for a visit during my birthday week, he really lathered it on.  Not only did he greet me with a dozen pink roses, but he was about 70lbs lighter and looked like the day we first met (sans the shoulder-length dreds)!  Okay, he's really working it.  And then MORE gifts came: two treats from Tiffany's, a pair of silver hoop earrings and finally... with one hand holding a video camera and the other one shakily revealing the final gift stuffed into his jeans pocket... unsteadily he knelt down on one knee and presented a diamond ring.  Yes, he finally put his money where his mouth was.  And I was speechless.

So how do I feel?  How did I feel?   Well, my emotions ran the gamut from fear to disappointment to excitement to gut wrenching nausea.

I have no idea what I'm doing.  Not a clue.  But I said 'yes'.  Yes to rolling the dice and throwing out my Hollywood induced, preconceived notions of what romance is and what a "knight in shining armor" should look, feel, sound like and ride in on.  I'm scared, but happy.  Excited, even.  I'm ready to take a chance on the future...

The Butterfly Effect

I've been doing some thinking... Well, a little more than some.  And I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I will never be able to recapture that "in love" feeling that I've had only once before.  Now don't read me wrong - this is not a "woe is me" moment.  I simply realized that I've been in love once and that it may never happen again.

For the longest time I've been searching for that feeling, those butterflies that I felt when I was with who I thought was "the one".  I miss being in love.  It's such a high.   But that euphoria may not happen again with anyone else.  Why?  Am I being too picky?  Honestly, no.  I'm pretty un-picky compared to most.  Am I open to love?  Absolutely.  And very ready.  I've known only one other person in my life that has been "in love" with just about every person they've been in a relationship with.  (And it was a guy!)  But most are just not that easy, including me.  I'm more discerning.  More deliberate with mine.

And so I choose not to continue to chase this butterfly effect that has eluded me thus far.  Am I settling?  Compromising?  Maybe the former...  But what's the alternative?  Spending the next ten years fiending for my next hit of love's euphoria - the most expensive and time consuming drug on the planet?  I think not.  What if it never comes?  Man, it's time for me to exhale already.

Computer Love

(sigh) Ok, how come I keep hesitating on this?  I've gone to two of the major sites, but have yet to sign up.  I don't know why exactly.  I mean, I am a single woman now and time is of the essence.  So many have been successful in finding a BF, let alone HUSBAND, on the internet... so why can't I finally take the plunge?

I don't think it's the money, even though I would hate to sign up for a site and meet nothing but losers.  Or jerks.  Or ego maniacs.

I think part of it is that you really have to put yourself OUT there, you know?  Your pic, your likes/dislikes, city/state and other personal stats.  I guess I shouldn't be so guarded.  Also, since I am pursuing the whole "creative arts" thang, I secretly feel that I have nothing to really offer anyone right now.  What am I coming to the table with other than great conversation, a lust for sports and a readily available sympathetic ear?

Well, I have to do something because I surely haven't met anyone OFFLINE (no one of even slight interest to me) yet.

Ok, I'm just gonna do it.  Soon.

I think...