Manic Monday

Hey, guys!  I know... I know.  It's been a while.  But with all the changes I've been going through, only NOW have I had some time to carve out and post.  This past year has been pretty cray-cray.  And there really seems to be no end in sight anytime soon...

You already know (per my previous post) that I took a huge leap of faith and made a big move towards fulfilling some life long goals, right?  Well, lemme tell you that ever since I made that decision things have been real hectic and... well, bananas.  It seems to be par for the course, though.  You get the gumption (finally) to make some serious, life-altering maneuvers only to have your forward progress threatened by a seemingly constant stream of confidence draining situations.  To put it short - I've been through some thangs.

Since moving, I have had to start from rock bottom.  Now I already knew this would kinda be the case, but I didn't realize the contrast between "knowing it" and "living it" would be so stark.  Add in all the unexpected stuff that naturally pop up in life and you have the perfect emotional maelstrom that left me second guessing myself and my entire situation.  I've met some shady people (nothing new) who tried to distract me from my goals, my face has been breaking out (have no idea why), had some financial hiccups, broke out in hives all over my torso and arms (surprise!  I'm allergic to spinach now!) and I'm currently dealing with a health issue that's causing my hair to fall out (YES!!).  Oh, and that's just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

And now it's Monday. (UGH!)

Now, I don't wanna give you the impression that it's been all bad for me because it hasn't.  I've had some really good things happen, too.  But this whole "stepping out on faith" thing thus far has been very trying.  I promise to give you guys more of an update a little later as well as dive back into the "fun and frivolous" soon...  But I wanted to peek my head in here and let you guys know that I'm still here, still out here grinding.

Thanks for being so patient with me, y'all.  Just trying to get my groove back... one step at a time. 

The Road Less Travelled

Hey, guys!  Have you ever dreamed and plotted and planned for something for so long that when the time finally presented itself for it to be implemented you were almost caught off guard?  Have you ever hyped and cajoled yourself into taking a huge leap of faith only to be confronted later by two lead feet when it finally came time to jump?  I had been intimating for awhile now about making some seismic shifts in my life... but I'm not even going to front: when the moment ultimately arose for me to put my words to action, I got knots the size of golf balls in my stomach.  Nevertheless, I persisted... and made my move.  Literally.

And so I'm sitting here - excited, exhausted, but eternally enthused.  I am not even going to attempt to unfurl the lengthy testimony of my long sojourn (both mentally and physically) from "here" to "there".  Nope.  Not gonna.  At least not right this minute.  Instead, I'd rather bask in the success of my arrival and rest in the comfort of having accomplished said feat.  It's just one bullet point on a fully loaded journey.  I'm making strides and - step by step - promises I made to myself are being kept.  But I can't rest on my laurels now; I've got to keep going.  I've got so much left still to do.  And so many more promises left to keep.

And miles to go before I sleep.  And miles to go before I sleep...

Friday Flashback: My Trip to Japan

You know, I really love to travel.  These past several months I've been so inundated with a load of personal tasks and chores that I haven't had time to spread my proverbial wings and go somewhere.  Oh, I've hit the road and traveled within the contiguous states, but - so far - have yet to travel travel.  Like, to a "whole different country with a whole different culture and language" type of travel.  Feeling totally derelict in my self-appointed duty of feeding my insatiable wanderlust, I started to think about the last time I was able to do just that.  Well, it was some years ago.  My friend at the time was teaching English in Japan and invited me to come visit for the Christmas/New Year's holiday and, with hardly a bat of an eye, I packed a bag and left.  And what a trip it was!  So much of it seems a blur now, but here's some of what I remember...

My friend lived in a small town on the outskirts of some of the main cities, so taking a commuter train was essential to getting around.  Insanely clean and super efficient, I remember hopping aboard the iron vessel to a city called Nara and being in awe of how quiet the ride was since most of the passengers pretty much kept to themselves.

Nara - a place where small deer roamed free, both in the designated park as well as the well-visited grounds of the temple that just happens to house one of the largest Buddha statues in Japan.  I remember the scale of the wooden temple as being quite overwhelming...

... and the various artifacts and statues surrounding the giant Buddha rich with exquisite detail and craftsmanship.  The main Buddha was mammoth, reaching as tall as the temple itself!  Alas, I tried to take a picture of it, but the photo came out dark and failed to show it in all its glory.  So above is a snapshot of one the mini Buddhas perched beside it. 

I remember going to a museum where guests were welcome to view the collection of genuine armor, helmets and other battle regalia from Japan's feudal era on full display, but had to adhere to the customary removing of the shoes first before gaining entry.

Prepared for the occasion, I opted to change into my knitted cat slippers in lieu of walking around "barefoot".

I remember going to a festival on New Year's Eve where there was a long procession of food vendors lined up on opposite sides of the sidewalk that led up to multiple temples and life-sized dioramas of feudal Japanese life.

I remember the public bathroom on the grounds as being nothing but a long, trough-like groove in the floor with a hole at the top for drainage that one would have to squat over to use.  I remember quickly turning around and deciding to "hold my water" instead of using the facilities, bumping into this handsome lion on the way out... and fondling it with reckless abandon.

I also recall literally ringing in the new year with a host of others as they lined up in front of one of the temples and bowed their heads in silent reverence as a small gong erupted in celebratory chimes.

Along with these memories, I remember the grocery store seafood being so fresh that you could actually see it writhing and breathing in their plastic packages and the streets being so clean that even a germaphobe like me wouldn't hesitate to eat off of them.  I remember green tea ice-cream (which is delish!) and all you can eat sushi that's served on a plate-by-plate basis from the convenience of an  endless conveyor belt that snakes around the restaurant's tables.  I remember taking the Shinkansen or "bullet train" to Tokyo and being seduced by the anime-like frivolity of its Harajuku district.

Yes, I remember a lot from this trip and now I'm yearning for more!  I really have to get on the ball and take some time out to go on a REAL vacay.  I want to completely immerse myself in a different culture, different language... different land!  I absolutely LOVE to travel!  And it's high time I get back to doing that which I love.  England!  Paris!  Italy!  Australia!  So many places to see and do.  And I'm so ready to do them all!  #YOLO!     

High Flyer

OMG, guess what I did earlier this week, guys?  Well, the title sorta gives it away... BUT I have to tell you that I had one of the most incredible experiences ever!  And it was all courtesy of "Mr. Pop-Up" himself, Birthday Boy, who is keenly aware of the fact that I love to try new things.  So, in honor of my birthday, he came by and whisked me off cloak-and-dagger style to embark on a fly-by-the-seat adventure that had never even been a blip on my life's radar.  Totally surprised, but totally down for the cause, I eagerly picked up the gauntlet that was laid before me and dove head first into my very first session of indoor skydiving!

After a brief, five minute tutorial on how to position your body during flight as well as the hand signals the instructor will use to help guide you while in the loud wind tunnel, I put on a red striped jumpsuit along with adjustable goggles and helmet, and was ready to rock and roll.

Once I had on all of my flight gear, things got really real.  I kept a smile on my face as my group and I walked through the halls and down the stairs to the wind tunnel, but it totally belied the nervousness I was feeling growing inside my belly.  And please believe me when I say that the fact that I was wearing a helmet with the ominous numbers "911" was not lost on me at all.  I started to think, "What in the world am I doing and why am I doing it?"

And then we all filtered into the waiting area just outside the tunnel and things got even more realer as I quickly realized that the seating arrangement left me, Dolce, having to go into the tunnel first.  I adjusted my goggles under the guise of securing a better fit since my eyelashes were mashing up against the "lenses", but it was more empty fidgeting than anything as I knew my time was drawing nigh.  As I stood up after being called to the doorway, I turned to the awaiting group and asked if anyone wanted to go first instead of me.  No answer.  I asked again because, well, maybe they didn't hear me.  Again, blank stares; no one budged.  I surveyed the faces of the group one last time - a bunch of kids, none of them older than about fourteen or so - and quickly gathered myself.  I was the only adult and there was no way I was going to punk out in front of these youngins.  That's so not my style anyway.  So I walked up to the threshold and the tunnel came alive...

Like being caught in a tunnel with an oncoming train, the wind was strong and fiercely assailed my ears as it whipped across the front of my face.  This was it.  It was now or never.  And, honestly, it almost became never as the remaining enthusiasm I had left waned and fear tightened its grip.  The instructor saw the dread etched on my face and deftly coaxed me to step forward... lift up my arms... and let go...

 And then I flew...

With my arms stretched out east and west and slightly bent legs pointed south, I floated on air.  No, I flew.  I bobbled, I dipped and then I soared.  I flew.  I panicked, dropped then leveled myself out.  I flew.  I found it kind of hard to breathe with the weight of the air snatching what little was still enough to breathe, so I opened my mouth to compensate.  I flew!  And then I flew some more.   What seemed like forever was actually two of the scariest, most exhilarating minutes of my entire life.  And then it was over... until my second two-minute round to fly.  This time one of the instructors grabbed me and took me for a ride that I could only describe as "terrifyingly awesome".  He was the Superman to my Lois Lane as we shot up through to the top of the tunnel seemingly at the speed of light and then descended to ground level just as speedily.  My heart raced, my stomach was doing jumping jacks as we went through this free-fall cycle a total of three times.  So scary, but so incredibly awesome!

And then it was over.  I couldn't keep myself from laughing.  I was so proud of myself for having pushed the envelope and dared to venture outside my comfort zone big time.  I had accepted the challenge of indoor skydiving and conquered it.  And I actually liked it!  Wow, who woulda thunk it?

Visibly proud of himself for successfully concocting a well-received mission, Birthday Boy sat back and watched it all unfold.  He told me later that the group of onlookers he was seated with bust out laughing when I went on my tandem free-fall with the instructor.  I figured as much as I knew my eyes grew as big as saucers when we made the first, volatile ascent.  At first, the thought of people - strangers - laughing at the sight of me being stricken with fear left me beside myself.  But that moment was brief as I knew there was no malice behind that and I ended up laughing at the thought of them laughing at me.  I simply let it all go.  A reoccurring lesson, as I've said before, that keeps on popping up in my life.  A lesson I have learned many times over.  And this time around, I had a mighty good time learning it!  #ThanksBB!

A New Search

A new city, a new search... fueled by a renewed motivation.  I've been a little more than preoccupied with finding a new residence so I continued my search and took a viewing of a townhouse, which was somewhat of a departure space-wise from the other units I had seen thus far due to the two-car garage affixed to the rear of the home.

The entrance/exit to the garage was right off the kitchen, which was filled with black appliances and tile flooring that was independent of the laminated wood that covered the rest of the downstairs living space.

Adjacent to the kitchen - and under the stairs - was a small, unadorned cubby that could be used as extra storage.

Upstairs, separated by the guest bathroom and a laundry nook in the hallway, was the master and second bedroom.  Both were nicely sized, had carpet flooring and both were equipped with walk-in closets with the master laying claim to the more generously sized of the two.

(Second bedroom)

(Second bedroom's closet)

(Master bedroom)

(Master bedroom's closet)

And so what's my verdict, you ask?  Well, the jury's still out on this one.  It's an overall nice size, has great closet space and the garage is a sure fire bonus... but something's missing.  I'm not quite sure what it is...  Perhaps it's the elusive "IT" factor I've been on the hunt for ever since the beginning of my search?  Maybe.  I mean, this unit was decent, but I dunno.  I'm not quite sure this is the "one", you know?

I feel encouraged, though, which is quite a 180 from my last apartment hunt post.  Some other things that I've been waiting on have finally settled in so I'm riding that wave of momentum all the way through the rest of my search, which I know is ending soon.

A new city, a new search... fueled by a renewed motivation.  I can see the finish line just on the horizon.   Things are coming together, y'all.  Slowly, but surely... things are finally coming together.

Apartment Hunting: The Last Hurrah

OK, so I took an appointment a few days ago to see yet another apartment complex.  There's no sense in me feigning interest so I'm just gonna get straight to the meat 'n' potatoes.  In fact, I'm going to run right through this one because it was pretty straight forward and (in the end) quite underwhelming.  And so begins this edition of my search for my next abode...

I went to see a bi-level loft just a little ways from the downtown area and it started off promising enough.  As soon as I walked through the door, the size of the main living space impressed me with its openness and updated kitchen - which included stainless steel appliances and a marble top island.

Towards the back were a set of doors that opened to a small patio that could comfortably fit two chairs and/or a petite BBQ grille.

And in addition to the powder room, a nice sized laundry suite completed the downstairs attractions.

Traveling upstairs revealed a narrow hallway that acted as the bridge between the master and second bedrooms.  Since the master was the one located at the top of the stairs, the sales agent and I started there.

 
Aaaannnd that's kinda where it ended for me, too.  The master bedroom was indeed a loft-style space with unique barn door "shutters" that you could slide open and close to monitor the amount of light allowed in the room.

The room was furnished with a decent bathroom that included a double sink...

BUT the master's closet was located INSIDE the bathroom, opposite the wall to the toilet!  I really shouldn't call it a closet because that term is somewhat misleading.  It was more like a nook with three shelves.  I mean, it was so small and dinky that the sales agent immediately - and without any prodding from me - started to explain how I could maximize the space by installing an additional hang bar across the top.  She did her best, but ultimately lost me at "install".

I took the few steps down the hallway to look at the second bedroom, which was also equipped with a modest and shallow closet, and that was pretty much it.  With that old, familiar feeling of disappointment quickly coursing though my body, I mustered a smile to serve as subtle subterfuge as I thanked the perky sales agent for her time and then skedaddled.

I have to tell y'all that I'm becoming quite disenchanted with this whole process.  I mean, it's never taken me this long to find a place - ever!  All of these misfires and close calls is seriously having me reevaluate my long term versus short term goal.  I mean, is this where I need to be city-wise or am I settling?  What do I really want; what's really in my heart?  Am I working out of faith or fear?  And am I sincerely listening to my own voice, which is the only one (besides God's) that matters in the grand scheme of things?

Or maybe I'm just simply tired.  Of what, you ask?  Of everything is my answer.  But I've got to end up somewhere.  And so my search will continue on... it must!  However, I am going to step back and fine tune some things so that I can get this train on the right track to finding the place where I belong.