Saturday, May 15, 2010
It's Finally OVA... The Saga Does NOT Continue!
Ok, so we all know here that my relationship has been over for a while now. At least in my heart and my mind... Well, found out recently that he has been cheating on me! Yes, you can now add this to the list of crap that I have had to endure with this dude. I text one of my girlfriends when I found out, but have yet to call her and fill her in on the details. Not trying to torture her, but just didn't feel like talking about it. Not depressed or sad, it's just that the whole thing is soooooo stupid. I'm surprised I'm even blogging this... but... I dunno. She's probably reading this (Hey, friend! LOL). Hmm, I guess I'm killing two birds with one rock then.
Anywho, we were already broken up really. So you ask why it would bother me if I didn't want to be with him anymore and we weren't together anyway? Because at the time he cheated we WERE together and it just shocked me that all this time he was lying about where he was and who he was with. He was with this chick several times, therefore, this took planning... conversations... collusion. He used to work with this chick. He knew better! Of course he did. He tiptoed behind my back and all the while acted like everything was cool. And I only found out because he was having a mental breakdown (his annual near-birthday ritual) blabbering on about how he isn't a good person and his life isn't this and that and blah, blah, blah. I fell into my usual role of comforter and said, "Yes, you are a good person." He immediately shook his head and said, "No, I'm not." Ok, this gave me pause. My female Spidey sense kicked in and I asked him what he meant. He blabbered on about something and then I just asked him. I asked him whether he had EVER cheated on me. Well, you would have thought and I had pressed an invisible pause button on his back because he didn't move or say a word for what seemed like FOREVER. Now I got louder: HAVEYOUEVERCHEATEDONME?! I promise you he still didn't move. I just couldn't believe it. So then I started asking WHO and WHEN and HOW MANY TIMES?!! You know, the usual "i-just-found-out-my-man-cheated-so-now-i-need-all-the-details" questions. Well, technically I wasn't his GF, but you know what I mean. He obliged me grudgingly, giving me sparse details, but I pushed and pushed. Finally, I just twisted my face up and shook my head. I calmly let him know what I thought of him: that he was common. And that there was nothing special about him. Aaaand I said a couple of other cute things, too.
I am moving back up north in a few weeks. I have been busy trying to square away plans and tie up loose ends before leaving. I'm excited to finally get out of this gilded cage I've been trapped in.
I know I should list some more details, but I guess I'm just not angry enough to continue this entry. I mean, I am still disgusted at the total disregard for my feelings, the lies, the deceit, the fact that I had to pull it out of him instead of being told outright... but then again he's common. In other words, he just did what naturally comes to a lot of people. Selfish people. Selfish men.
He's been apologizing profusely ever since that night. I told him that I've already forgiven him (and forgotten him). He says he sees us married. Oh, really? To each other? Hmm... I don't.
Ok, I'm ending this. He's not worth another lette...
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there are many things we endure that makes us who we are, and this too will pierce slightly only but for a while as it carves you into a stronger, wiser woman.
ReplyDeletei'll miss you (and the baby) but GET EXCITED!! because now you can make room for he who "deserves" that heart of yours!
and lord! i'll pray for the one you're sending her way because he's gonna catch it...BIG TIME!! but when it does happen, drop me an invitation in the mail :)
your friend
I appreciate that! I am def excited. Must see you before I go. And thanks so much for being such a good friend to me. :0)
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