Searching for...

...my childhood.

You know, sometimes I get really sentimental.  Nostalgic even.  I miss a lot of things from when I was a kid (smells, foods, toys, etc.).  For the latter, I sometimes search eBay for my missing familiar.  I've searched for old Barbies, Disney movie albums and other things that I used to own and cherish as a kid.  I don't have much from when I was younger due to moving from my home and it being robbed a few times.  Remember Holly Hobby dolls?  Well, not only did I have the doll, but I also had the lunchbox - it was pink with Holly Hobby on the front, made of hard plastic by the company Thermos.  I had Baby Alive (one of the few dolls I was able to rescue) and Head to Head Football (I was a tomboy).  I had the red Transformer - he was a sports car, but I'm not sure of his name - and the Dungeons and Dragons game (remember that cartoon?).  I had the Mork n' Mindy as well as Cabbage Patch Colorforms, Smurfs Shrinky Dinks and Jamie Summers (Bionic Woman) doll.  And let's not even mention the Barbies I owned.  Gone... well, mostly all of it is gone.  I was able to rescue a few Barbies, Barbie clothes and my Cabbage Patch (the one that smelled like baby powder), but the rest are just a memory.  It really pains me to think that these are lost to me forever...

Well, I was having one of my moments and started searching the Internet and found the very make and model of a dollhouse that my dad bought my sister and me during one of his trips.  Couldn't believe it.  Can't believe the company still exists and still makes the model (in addition to other models).  It brought back soooo many memories for me; how my cousin had to put the wooden model together because my dad lost patience with all the little parts and gluing and such.  And how happy I was to see it assembled.  My sis thought it was cool, but I really LOVED it.

Am I the only one who does this... constantly traveling down and canvassing memory lane trying to recapture a lost childhood memory?  I guess not because of all the adult collectors of toys, but I dunno...

Anywho, guess who will be buying a Tudor style dollhouse in the next year or so?  By then I should have a daughter that I can share the experience with.  Eh, who am I kidding?  Daughter or not, I will be buying this dollhouse.  Another piece of my past recovered.  Well, kind of.

Lactose Intolerant!

Okay, I was in the grocery store the other day and I felt pretty darn good about myself.  My hair was laying just right and I had on a cute pair of shorts and a matching top.  Nothing special, but I just felt good, you know?  If I could whistle, I would have been whistling up and down the aisles.  Well, I moseyed on down the frozen food section and saw something I wanted to take a closer look at.  So I opened to door and bent over to check it out and noticed a man looking at me.  Now I wasn't purposely bending over for his benefit, however, from his angle he had a full view of my rear and everything it entailed.  I thought nothing of it and continued my shopping... but I must admit that I was flattered and tickled that he happened to look my way RIGHT when I absentmindedly stuck my butt in the air.

Anywho, when I got home, still high off the look I got in the store and my over all feeling of "cuteness", I stopped in front of the full-length mirror in the dining room and re-played the events that occurred in the store: I playfully smiled, put my hands on my hips and sashayed around like a little schoolgirl.  Then I bent over at the waist, my back/butt to the mirror and looked over my shoulder... and gasped in horror.  All I saw was lumps and bumps all up and down the back of my legs!  There was no sexy cuteness to flirt and flaunt... just COTTAGE CHEESE for all to behold!!  I quickly stood back up, bewildered and deflated.  THIS is what the man in the store saw, cottage cheese thighs?  This is what I was shoving into his eye space, insulting his view of the frozen vegetables with a sight that would curdle anyone's stomach?  Heck, isn't that what cottage cheese is, some form of curdled dairy?  Something that once used to taste good and be used to build strong bones, but now just looks like a spoiled separated mess?  A mess that most try to dress up nice with fresh fruit to convince themselves that it's not as bad as it looks... but it really is?  UGH!!!  I have cottage cheese thighs and I shoved them into an innocent man's face!  And I can't take that moment back.  Ever!  That's how he'll remember me: "the chick who kinda looked cute until she turned around and oh, boy!  Spoiled milk!"

I'm done!  This is what I've become?! I still shudder when I think about it...  I'm doing leg lifts as we speak!  Squats, here I come... but my first impression has been blown.  Kapooey.  Kaput!  I'll never look at the frozen food aisle the same way again.  NEVER!  Time to reinvent myself STAT!

Makeup!

 
I can readily admit that I am a late bloomer.  Okay, a VERY late bloomer.  I may have even mentioned this before, but I didn't get turned on to a lot of things until a few years ago.  One of these things include makeup.  Don't get me wrong, I've worn and do wear lipstick and have used basics like eyeliner and mascara, but serious arsenal like eyeshadow and *gasp* foundation?  No way, Jose!  Never understood why women spent so much time and money on these things... until recently.  Man, once I saw how many people were posting how-to makeup videos on YouTube and the creativity behind a lot it, I was hooked.   No joke - in the past two years I have accumulated quite a collection of bronzers, highlighters, eye shadows, vibrant lipsticks and lip glosses from companies I had never even heard from, let alone purchased their products.  Yes, I have come a LONG way from my Wet n' Wild purple lipstick days (seemingly a rite of passage for most teenage girls... at least all the ones I knew).

I must say that I am really enjoying myself, creating different looks that may or may not coincide with my mood for the day.  And I think I've gotten pretty good at it, if I do say so myself!  Well, at least I don't look like a clown when I go out.  I think that says a lot, right?  LOL

Man, I love being a girl!  We get so much fun stuff to play with...  Maybe I'll review/show some of the goodies I've collected soon.  Yeah, I think I just might do that.  :0)

Hair Love - Nature's Gate Pomegranate Poo & Con

 
I'm a DIY person at heart so when it comes to my hair, I'm no different.  In fact, I've been doing my hair for many years and enjoy trying new products from time to time.  Well, up until about two months ago, I've been using Fresh Soy Shampoo and Pomegranate Conditioner.  LOVE these two products: they leave my hair shiny, soft and full of body.  The price, however, is a little on the steep side - $26/each.  A steep price that I could easily justify because I don't go to a salon.

Well, I came across Nature's Gate products while roaming the natural food/product aisle in my local grocery store and although I was intrigued by their line of skin and hair products, I was immediately seduced by the picture of pomegranates on a set of its poo and conditioner bottles.  My interest piqued, I bit the bullet ($5/bottle) and decided to try the duo.  OMG, I am sooo glad I did!

This sulfate-free shampoo is devine!  And it smells great, too!  The conditioner is the perfect complement and both leave my chemically treated, coarse hair shiny, residue-free and super soft.  Absolutely fantastic products.  I'm not a "natural" nut, but can easily appreciate products that deliver more on their promises while containing less chemicals and "bad stuff", for the lack of a better term.

This was a total win for me.  Two thumbs up.

Hirsutism

I was in the store the other day and noticed a woman at the counter with a portly little boy I assumed was her son.  I could only see her profile as I entered, but once I approached the counter to address the other attendant I immediately saw that the woman had thick, full-grown mustache... and thick stubble remnants of what was once a beard.  I was taken aback by how "full on" her facial hair was, but downplayed my reaction by shifting my eyes to something else in the room.  This was an African-American woman, about early forties and her mustache was thick and coarse, just like a man's.  Umm... think of Aunt Pearly from Friday After Next, but much worse!  And because of her coarse hair texture, the stubble was prominent and dark and stretched from sideburn to sideburn.   Clearly she had tried to resolve the problem by shaving, which is a CLEAR and DEFINITIVE no-no, but with little success. 

Now I'm NOT trying to throw shade to anyone that has this problem or trying to make fun of this woman.  In fact, as soon as I saw her I immediately felt bad for her.  I, like a lot women, have a "lady-stache" that I wax every so often, and I know that women go through a lot with our bodies and hormones so a few errant hairs here and there I understand.  Shoot, I never even noticed my 'stache until a guy told me he thought it was sexy.  I was like, 'Huh?'  I was a teenager, mind you, but I had never noticed.  As an adult woman getting into makeup and all the refinery of being a woman, I started waxing it.  But I must tell you that I was shocked when I first saw my face without it; I actually PREFERRED the way I looked with it over the way I looked without it!  LOL  (Don't worry guys, I still wax...)   But I digress...  Things happen... hair happens.  Frida Kahlo was recognized not only for her art, but also her uni-brow and "lady-stache".  Monique, the comedienne, proudly rocks hairy legs.  Really hairy legs.  My point is, I get it.

But this was different.  This is not a "wax on/wax off" situation.  This was not an au naturel stance on female beauty.  This was an excessive, out of control hair growth issue on her face.  It was such a shock to me that I started to think of what I would do... What would I, what COULD I do if I had that much hair growing on my face... thick, coarse, uncontrollable, undeniable facial hair.  We all know that shaving makes it worse and only -temporarily- takes off the hair above the skin, but then it grows right back... and with a vengeance!

I honestly don't know what I would do.  My sister said she would stay in the house and never come out.  I sort of chuckled and agreed that I would stay in until I had enough money saved to take care of it cosmetically.  She co-signed.  At that point, it wouldn't matter the cost; I would have to do something.  But is there really anything out there for situations so severe?  I know there are lasers, but for your whole face?  And not even that's 100% effective in permanently keeping the hair away for some patients.  And what about scarring?  And sensitivity?  Especially with dark-skin?

I don't know, guys.  I really don't know, but on a brighter note she WAS standing there with a boy I assumed was her son because of their interaction and resemblance so somebody is/was loving the skin she was in, flaws and all!  Again, I wasn't trying to judge but was trying to figure what I would do with that situation.  Whoa...

Forgive... Forgive-Me-Not?

What would it take for you to forgive?  And if you finally got yourself to the point where you could forgive, would you also be able to forget or is that even necessary for forgiveness?  And would it depend on what the offense was whether you would even consider forgiving the perpetrator at all?

Ok, what if the offense caught you off guard and when you found out you were absolutely devastated?  No, no one died or was maimed, but you were hurt to your very core because it was someone you loved and trusted.  Would an apology be enough?  Would money and/or gifts be an ample salve?  OR are you one of those types where the only relief you could find would be to get the person back (avenge your broken heart) via the same manner - if not a more hurtful manner - that was used to hurt you...?

Hmm... just wondering aloud.  I guess I should reveal which of these examples fit my personality, but I'm still trying to figure that out.  My knee-jerk response would be that I would be able to forgive, forget, but depending on how egregious the act was/is, I would know that for my own sanity our relationship... our interaction from that point on would never be the same.

I mean, everyone makes mistakes, but at what point is enough enough?!

Ok, talk amongst yourselves.  I'll be back with my final thoughts once I've gathered them.

Mea Culpa...

I'm so sorry.  I've been so neglectful... so derelict in my duties of keeping y'all abreast of what's going on, what I'm thinking... doing.  A lot has been going on and I have sooo much to tell that the very thought of the amount of thoughts I need to post makes me sigh.

Writing has always been cathartic for me (just like a host of others) but I haven't been craving the urge to put "pen to pad", sorta speak.  Some days I've just been wallowing and I know I shouldn't.

Gotta tell you guys about my Oprah experience, and that it was!  That's up first.  Then the rest soon after.