Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The Butterfly Effect
I've been doing some thinking... Well, a little more than some. And I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I will never be able to recapture that "in love" feeling that I've had only once before. Now don't read me wrong - this is not a "woe is me" moment. I simply realized that I've been in love once and that it may never happen again.
For the longest time I've been searching for that feeling, those butterflies that I felt when I was with who I thought was "the one". I miss being in love. It's such a high. But that euphoria may not happen again with anyone else. Why? Am I being too picky? Honestly, no. I'm pretty un-picky compared to most. Am I open to love? Absolutely. And very ready. I've known only one other person in my life that has been "in love" with just about every person they've been in a relationship with. (And it was a guy!) But most are just not that easy, including me. I'm more discerning. More deliberate with mine.
And so I choose not to continue to chase this butterfly effect that has eluded me thus far. Am I settling? Compromising? Maybe the former... But what's the alternative? Spending the next ten years fiending for my next hit of love's euphoria - the most expensive and time consuming drug on the planet? I think not. What if it never comes? Man, it's time for me to exhale already.