Crush Groove

I can't stop thinking about him. I've tried to, but I just can't seem to do it. It's been a very long time since I've been in this type of predicament. For a stretch of time, I was very successful - at not thinking about him, that is. I would go weeks, months without one intrusive notion of him. But then I turn on the TV and happen to stumble upon a news station with a reporter that closely resembles him. And the flood gates open again. I was doing so well, but instantly my mind shifts backwards and starts to wander... what's he doing at this very moment? Could he possibly be thinking about me, too? On paper, the attraction really doesn't make sense. But I'll explain that later...

He has no idea that I feel this way about him... at least I don't think he does. And I don't plan on telling him. Not yet. Man - I love the sound of his voice, the way he makes me laugh (which is just about all the time) and I love the way I feel when I'm around him. I feel giddy, like I can't get my words together.

It wouldn't be so bad if only I weren't involved with someone else. Yes, I technically have a BF right now. We've been together for years now, but I'm not really feeling the relationship anymore. But I'll explain that later as well...

I just had to get this off my proverbial chest. Because I really can't tell anyone else the particulars, I have to jot down my thoughts and feelings about this man. He really has no idea how he occupies my head space constantly. I don't think he would be able to handle that information, that power right now. So for now I'll be quiet. Crazy thing - both he and my BF have the same hands; the same half-moon fingernails and same shaped fingers...