Friday, September 28, 2012

Color Series - Taupes: Just Wild About This Nut!

Continuing my series on one of my favorite colors, taupe, I would like to introduce to you Nutty eyeshadow by Wet N Wild.  It is a drug store find that lives up to the quality of more high-end eyeshadows both in texture and color payoff.

Nutty is one of the range of colors offered in Wet N' Wild's single shadow series.  It is a buttery soft taupe color that leans more towards gray than brown, therefore, it is more on the cooler side of taupe.  It is highly pigmented and blends easily on the lid.  When worn over a primer, I have not experienced creasing nor fading.

Again, I would consider the finish on this to be more like a high-pearl; it's not too frosty on the lid.

Wet N' Wild (above), L'Oreal Sassy (below)

Wet N' Wild (above), L'Oreal Sassy (below)
Compared to L'Oreal's Sassy 208, Nutty is much cooler and more gray.  But I love them both.

The price point on Nutty is around $1.00, no more than $2.00 and can often be found on sale along with other Wet N' Wild products.  So you won't have to break the piggy bank to pick this one up, either!  Yes, I know... you can thank me later.  LOL.

*Next up: a taupe that's as smooth as Satin...

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Celibate And the City

Okay, I had to address this because of something I just watched on YT (YouTube).  I watched a video thinking that the vlogger would have a definitive point of view on this, but he did not and his answer was just ridiculous to me, but sadly very common.

A woman emailed him asking when was a good time to tell someone you're dating or about to date that you are celibate and whether he would ever date a woman who was celibate.  He proceeded to answer the first part of the question by saying that there would be nothing wrong with telling a man when you first talk or meet up with him and that it would be better to get this out of the way as soon as possible.  He then used an example of if a woman had a rule of not kissing on the first date, he would hope she would tell him before they sit down at a restaurant and she orders a lobster dinner.  Huh?!  His explanation was that if he were doing everything right on the date and treated her right and all that jazz that he would hope she would rethink her "no kissing" rule and would find him desirable enough to break it.  As if to say he put in the work so why not reap the reward?  My words, not his.  Anywho, he then answered the second part of the question, saying that he would date a woman who was celibate and that he would respect her for that.  But thennnn, he quickly contradicted himself by saying that her self-imposed celibacy was probably because she was single and was tired of casual sex and since they would now be dating then she should want to, again, rethink that rule because it would no longer apply since dating someone exclusively does not equate to casual sex.  Oh!  Oh!  Hold on... and then the kicker was that he reiterated that he would date her but with the hopes that she would come around and basically "hit him off" (my words).   Huh?!  Excuse me?!

First of all, how are you going to assume that she is celibate because she no longer wants to be promiscuous?  That's what the whole "casual sex" comment implies to me.  Maybe she's celibate because she was hurt in her last relationship and decided that she slept with him too soon?  Maybe she knows herself so well that a sexual relationship outside of marriage would leave her too vulnerable emotionally and cause more hurt if the relationship didn't work out?  Or maybe she finally gave her life to Christ, got saved and decided to do it God's way and save it for her husband, someone who at least put up some money on a ring and promised before God and fam to be there and cherish her forever?  Heck, maybe her va-jay-jay is broke and needs time to heal?  Who knows?  My point is that if she thought it was important enough to at least tell you on the front end so you would know what to expect (or not expect) then dating her with the expectations of her soon changing her mind is NOT respecting her decision at all.  You are totally minimizing it as a minor speed bump, a challenge for you to take on.  In fact, he did use that word "challenge".  And who knowingly accepts a challenge thinking you're going to lose?

And he didn't even answer the question!  He was basically saying "yes, but not really".  Huh?!  Pick an answer, man!  Here, let me answer the question for you: no, you would not knowingly date a woman with the hopes of having a RELATIONSHIP with her if she were celibate.  And that's fine!  That's your prerogative.  But be clear, man!  Don't try and hide behind niceties and feigned chivalry when at the end of the day you want what just about every red-blooded man with a set of franks and beans wants - SEX!  If she's being honest with you then you should be a real man and be honest with her and tell her that your timeline is different than hers.  Waiting with the expectation of an end is simply tolerating and what grown person wants to be tolerated?  Heck, she didn't even offer waiting as an option, she is saying straight up, "NO, I'M NOT HAVING SEX WITH YOU OR ANY OTHER DING-A-LING RIGHT NOW.  THANK YOU!"

Oh, my God!  I'm sorry, but this got my panties in a bunch for real!  What is wrong with people?  I mean, I know women can get gully with theirs and there are a lot of women who are very sexual, but I have to speak on men right now because they're the ones I date and I have yet to come across a man who has declared that he's saving himself for marriage.  Never.  I know they may exist, but I've NEVER encountered one.  So with that being said, why can't men respect the C-word?  Is it that they take it personally and translate it to the woman saying he's not worthy enough to enter and so he must "accept the challenge" and prove her wrong, that he's worthy enough to claim the prize?  With an attitude like that, he's already proven he's not worthy.  Man, please!  Have a seat!

In fact, let me go cool off and have a seat myself.  The very nerve... 

Monday, September 24, 2012

Letting Go

You know, we each have lessons that we must learn in life.  Most lessons are universal: learning how to give and receive love, patience, forgiveness, tolerance, etc.  Some are more tailored to the individual.  Some people have more lessons than others.  And some have lessons that seem to repeat over and over maybe because they are the hardest to retain.  I know for sure that one of the lessons I have been required to learn is the art of letting go.

When I was in middle school my parents divorced.  My dad moved out of state and along with him went my sense of home, normalcy and childhood.  A house that was once filled with the light and lilt of innocence and childish repose was now a stark place of urgency and distress.  Emotions were in a state of upheaval and everything that my younger sister and I held dear soon followed; utilities were shut off, two guys broke into our house while we slept upstairs (my mom chased them out) and the powder blue Ford LTD was now inoperable.  With nothing but a few bags of clothes, we left the house and everything in it late one night and "house hopped" for a few months.  My mom eventually sent my sister and me to stay with a "family friend" while she tried to get things together.   Yeah, a "family friend" that used to make us buy our own toilet paper because she said we used too much.  We never did return to our house and I quickly had to let go of all that I thought was important at that time in my little life and grow up.  

I've had to let go of needy friends and abusive boyfriends, not that this was hard for me to do, but it still hurt.  My best friend in high school "broke up" with me via a letter and I could not understand why.  It hurt me, but I never chased.  Had to let that pain go.  My musician boyfriend didn't reveal his true nature until he grabbed me by my wrists out of anger and threatened to throw me out of a window.  Umm, yeah - had to let go of him.  A no-brainer.  But the next one was harder to let go of because he was my best friend.  We really had a connection and I had never felt so close to someone before nor since.  But he did something to me that took me years to even be able to talk about...  And then I ended up seeing him years later... and he apologized.  And we started to talk.  And then we met up and all these ideas started dancing in my head... Maybe?  Possibly?  And then BOOM!  I found out that he hadn't really changed and the love I thought was there was never there in the first place.  Had to finally let go of the past, let go of the memories and stop replaying them. 

In my travels and moving from place to place, state to state, I've lost countless prized possessions, pictures and personal effects.  Gone with no idea where they are or how they were lost.  Had to let go of that sense of confusion, anger and loss.  When I was a kid, I had my life all planned out: I was to be married by twenty-five and start having kids by the time I was thirty.  Well, I have neither a husband nor kids yet and this messed with me for a while.  But I've had to let go of this perfect "timeline" I had assigned to my life.  It was causing me to panic and that's not healthy.  Faith and fear cannot reside in the same place at the same time, therefore, I've had to let go of fear so that my faith in having these things will take root and stay rooted.

And I've had to let go of this affliction of perfection.  I'm still working on this.  I'm one who will make a mistake then play it over and over in my head, chastising myself for not having done it right the first time.  If I misplace my keys or something, I brow beat myself.  If I wash my hair and it doesn't come out right, I will wash it again immediately and primp it until it is.  I am extremely hard on myself.  Extremely!  And I know I have to let this go, this futile pursuit of perfection.  Not that I should aim to be mediocre, no!  Just that I need to absorb the reality that if my straight line bends a little to the left, IT'S OK.  If I don't get something right the first time, IT'S OK.  I'm perfectly imperfect and my imperfections are perfectly fine. 

In one of my favorite movies, HEAT, De Niro's character warned, "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in thirty seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."  Well, although it has taken me longer than thirty seconds, I have learned that I must let go and purge myself of certain people, things, emotions and ideas because it is necessary for personal and spiritual growth.  It seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life.  And I'm learning to master it... lesson by lesson. 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Color Series - Taupes: Lil' Miss Sassy!

Taupe is by far one of my favorite colors, especially as far as eyeshadows go.  The color is infinitely versatile, can be worn as a neutral or paired with other colors for a more dramatic statement.  There are many hues or variations of this color which can appear differently on different skin tones, but is mostly recognized as a brownish-gray.  I wouldn't say I am "obsessed" as much as I am devoted to collecting this color every chance I get and not just in eyeshadows, it appears.  As I looked over my makeup stash, I realized that one of my favorite lipsticks is actually a mauvey-taupe!  Go figure!

So just indulge me for a moment, won't you, as I take you through a collection of taupes that I have accumulated thus far.  I will start off with a drugstore find: Sassy 208 by L'Oreal HIP.

I must say that this is one of my favorite taupe eyeshadows because it leans a little warmer (more brownish-red) than cool (gray).  And it's absolutely beautiful.  The L'Oreal shadow itself is very soft, but not too soft where it is crumbly or powdery.  It applies smoothly and stays put on the lid (over an eyeshadow primer) all day for me - no creasing. 


This particular duo pairs a warm taupe with a dark teal.  The finish on both I would consider to be somewhat of a frost, but not too frosty to where your eyelids would look metallic (not that there's anything wrong with that!). 

True to color, taken in natural daylight.

I would call this a mid-frost/high-pearl as opposed to a high-frost.  This swatch was just one swipe so as you can see you can get opaque coverage without a lot of effort, staying true to the line's HIP name (high intensity pigment).  And the color is divine.

This L'Oreal duo can be found at most drug stores and retailers such as WalMart and Target and the price point is $6 - $8, depending on the store.  However, I was told recently that out of all the HIP duos L'Oreal sells, this was the hardest to find online.  I'm kinda surprised, but kinda not.  Surprised because this has been out for a while (I've had mine for about two years now).  But not surprised because it's such a nice shade of taupe.  A shade that every taupe lover can afford to add to their collection.

*Next up: a "nutty" shade I'm just Wild about...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Childhood Flashback: Fashion Plates

Does anyone else remember this toy?  Aaaaah!!  I do and I can tell you that it was one of my favorite toys EVER!!!  And when I saw this at my ex's childhood home as we were cleaning it out for new tenants that were moving in, I calmly took it outside and put it in the trunk of my car along with the other little "donation worthy" finds that I was allowed to keep.  I just could not believe my eyes; the sheer blessing that had been bestowed upon me.  And I was so glad that his two sisters, who were also there cleaning, are not nearly as nostalgic and sentimental about their girlhood toys as I am.  In fact, the oldest out of the two sisters always made fun and looked down on my collection of Barbies.  A grown woman?  She thought it was so juvenile... but I digress.

For those not familiar with it, Fashion Plates was a toy put out around the late 70's that allowed you to put together your own fashion looks by coordinating three of the fifteen plates of tops, bottoms and faces, laying them in the frame on the right and rubbing a black crayon over top so that it would give you the outlined impression of the model.  You could then flip the plates over so that you could also add textures and/or patterns such as plaid or flowered prints onto the imprint, thus making a totally unique fashion creation.  Colored pencils completed the set.  Different versions have since been created, including a Barbie version, but of course the original is the most coveted.  When I tell you that I loved playing with this toy... man!  My original Fashion Plates was lost to me after moving from my childhood home so to find this and be able to procure this treasured item was just too much for me!  Now this set is missing five of its fifteen plates (ugh!) but I'm OK with that for now.  Not going to flip out because it's not perfect.  I'm just so glad to have it.

Right now I keep it safely hidden away in a bag until I am able to set it, along with my other toys, in a special room totally devoted to the collection of things that I used to love and still enjoy.

Sometimes it's just the little things in life that bring happiness.  The little things...

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Hair Love - Salerm 21

I’ve noticed that my hair has been really dry these past few weeks, which is normal for me as I get closer to the time when I need a perm.  My new growth seems to zap all of the moisture out of my hair.  I try to wait up to about 6-8 weeks and right now I’m at 5.
I’m back on my Fresh products (Soy poo and Pomegranate con), but I neglected to re-up on their Meadowfoam Cream con, which is both a conditioner and treatment to restore moisture to dry hair. 
My Dynamic Duo
You know, for some reason I tend to change my lineup of products even though they claim to he my HG (holy grail).  I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why I do that to myself!  I guess because I like trying new things, but still…  Why?  Ugh!  Anywho, I decided to dig through my stash of retired products to see if I could find something that would suffice.  Enter Salerm 21.
I had originally bought this product years ago after hearing about it on a hair forum.  It was introduced as a Dominican leave-in conditioner that is supposed to leave your hair silky smooth and thus aid in giving you the perfect Dominican blow out, a blow drying technique that will leave even the most texturized/ethnic hair bone straight.  I used it and wanted to LOVE it, but couldn’t because it just didn’t give me what I wanted.  I like a lot of body to my hair, but this wasn’t working for me.  Plus, I expected it to feel softer, like silk.  I moved on and tried Lacio Lacio (another Domican leave-in) and fell in love with that instead.
Well, I dusted off the Salerm and decided to use it as a regular rinse out conditioner instead and I must say that I am pretty pleased with the results… Kinda.  LOL.  Although it works much better for me as a rinse out and it looks and feels more moisturized, my hair is laying a little flatter than normal.  It looks like I had a Dominican blow out which should be a good thing, but it doesn’t have the same bounce my hair normally has.  It seems more blah.  I dunno.  I don’t know about you, but I’m one of those people that if my hair doesn’t look right, I’m not right for the rest of the day.  It literally kills my mood when my hair is jacked up.  And while it’s not that drastic today, I’m not feeling my best.  My hair doesn’t look bad, it just doesn’t have that va-va-va-voom I’m used to.
While it will be good to have as a back up and use when in dire need, I’m gonna have to repurchase Fresh’s Meadow Cream asap and stop experimenting when I already KNOW what I know. 
Hmm… sounds like there's a life lesson in there as well.
UPDATE 9/15:  Now that it's been about 2 days since I originally wrote this, I must say that my hair looks really good. My curls are holding and it's fuller than than the day after using Salerm.  Just goes to show you that sometimes you have to wait for things to kick in and fall into place.  Will I still be buying my trusted Meadowfoam?  Yes, but I am finally starting to appreciate Salerm 21 as a solid, rinse out con. 

Friday, September 7, 2012


There's a movement going on.  People are leaving here in droves and at an alarming rate.  Well, maybe it just seems alarming to me because I'm getting older and, therefore, my "circle of life" is getting smaller and smaller.  But my circle of "living" is not; everyday I look forward to seeing and trying something new and/or exciting... which is why it saddens me when I hear of someone passing by their own hands.

Death, period, is not easy an easy concept to grasp.  To have spoken or seen someone one day and then find out that they're gone the next is pretty surreal.  I just found out on one of the social networks that a girl I went to school with who was in my sister's grade (therefore, two years younger than me) just passed away from cancer.  When you look at her profile picture she looks vibrant and young... and healthy.  She looks like she hadn't aged one year!  Who knew she was battling cancer?  And lost?  A few months before that, another childhood friend I knew from the neighborhood passed away after complications from treatment for the same thing - cancer.  Why are there so many cancers, cancers that I've never even heard of?  Cancers in places and body parts I never knew could be affected...  Last year, a schoolmate of mine died in the hospital after complications from weight loss surgery.  Right before that, another schoolmate, a popular athlete in high school, took his own life after battling depression for years.

It always makes me think that you never know what someone is going through, what's on someone's mind.  You never know what a kind word or at least a smile can do for someone's attitude; you may have saved them a day, a hour, a minute more of life.  A chance to gain a different perspective.  So called "rich" people, people who seemingly have it all - money, fame and all the accoutrements that go along with it -  are jumping off bridges, overdosing on pills or blowing themselves away by gun.  I say so called "rich" people because they were rich according to worldly material standards, but poor in spirit.  There was an emptiness... a hole that was not being filled.  So called "success" did not bring about fulfillment.  Just a reoccurring, gnawing pain.  And it hurt... it hurt so badly that they couldn't stand another day, another hour, another minute...  

I know that suicide has been going on for years and that many have committed the act, but that doesn't make it any less tragic to me.  And death is a constant.  I know.  But death at your own hand just makes me wonder what could have made the difference?  An extra kiss?  An extra hug?  Or maybe just having someone to listen to you even if what you're saying doesn't make any sense?  Or makes too much sense?  Or maybe just being understood... and accepted... and wanted?

Life is not for the weak at heart.  It is HARD.  We all know this.  Heartbreaks, heartaches, rejection,  disappointments... bills!  And not everyone handles things the same way.  The bible tells us that "life and death are in the power of the tongue".  So just keep that in mind the next time you cross paths with someone you may or may not know.  Think before you speak.  Or maybe impart some happiness with just a smile.  You never know whose life you could be resuscitating.