Monday, July 19, 2010

Straight, No Chaser

I just had a wonderfully insightful - albeit short - conversation with a good friend of mine.  He so aptly put things in perspective for me that we didn't need to have a long, drawn out discussion.  Men are so pragmatic.  One of the reasons why I love them...

I was puzzled by the actions of another friend of mine, a female, and ran the scenario down to him.  The whole thing in a nutshell is that an old friend, with whom I've recently reconnected after she unceremoniously "dumped" me as a friend while in high school, has suddenly stopped returning my calls.  I gave him the run down of how she was upset that I had been back in Philly for two weeks, but hadn't called her right away because I was taking care of some things.  OK, we still got together later at her new house and everything seemed fine.  She gave me a tour and I complimented her accomplishments.  She expressed her disappointment in me not going to the HS reunion (I never told her I was def going, but she doesn't remember it that way).  We talked more.  She took a phone call.  I thought it rude of her to do so, but whatever.  She went upstairs, leaving me by myself in the kitchen, and returned when she was done.  I left soon after and we promised she would call after the reunion (if she went).  No call.  I called her and left a VM.  No call back.  I called again the next day about something entirely different.  Still no call back.  It's now been a week and a half.

My male friend listened patiently and without hesitation said, "You guys were never friends."  He proceeded to explain that if she felt comfortable taking a call while leaving you alone and if you felt uncomfortable sitting by yourself in her house (thinking it was rude) then you guys aren't friends and were never really friends because friends don't go through stuff like that.  His one caveat - this was obviously a male perspective.  But I thought it was valid and on point, nonetheless. 

So simply put.  So direct and plain.  And I totally got it.  I get it.  I got a little teary eyed as I explained to him that I feel that I am too forgiving.  He listened and assured me that I was fine.

Every woman needs a good male friend.  For the most part, they are straight shooters and don't get tied up in the rigmarole or drama.  It is what it is with them.  And that's all.

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